Running elation

Thanksgiving and Christmas have been really hard for me two years running. And by hard I mean really fucking hard... I won't get into the details but they've been the saddest holidays of my life.

This year for Christmas my mom got me a pair of vibrams and a book called Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. It was perfect timing. Not only did I need something distracting, I needed something inspirational and this book was both of those things, plus it taught me interesting things about our ancestors, evolution, why people hate running (as if I needed to be told that- I've hated running my whole life)... so much information!! And told in such a fantastic way, all wrapped inside the story of the Raramuri (more commonly known as the Tarahumara people of Mexico, or the "Running People") and the most intense ultra marathon ever run.

I finished the book today. I'm sad to be finished with it- I wish I could read more. And this morning I realized that a good long run was exactly what I needed to clear my head. And I'm not an especially good distance runner.

But I strapped on my new Nike Frees (I left my old ones in Chicago and wasn't ready to use vibrams on a long distance run) and just ran. I had no idea where I would go, for how long I'd run or anything, I just ran. I left at 3:35 and got back at 5:10. I could've kept going once i got back to the starting point but didn't because it was getting dark and I didn't want my parents to worry. I have NEVER EVER EVER arrived at my ending place and thought, maybe I'll keep going. I could not believe it.

I definitely ran slowly... I was working on keeping a consistent pace and focusing on my stride and the way my foot hit the pavement. But I ran farther than I've ever run in my life and up and down the worst hills I've ever attempted. I ran 12.42 km (7.42 miles)... The last 2 1/2 miles (at least) were almost entirely uphill. And I couldn't believe it- the whole time I wasn't dying!

But here's the most impressive part... It was the most cathartic thing I could have done for myself. In the beginning of my run, I was sad. A few minutes in and every emotion came flooding over me and I felt like I was about to start sobbing. I could feel the tears welling up inside but they wouldn't come out- something about my breathing made it impossible to actually cry. I continued running, and slowly I began to feel less sad. All of a sudden I realized I had been running for thirty minutes, I wasn't tired at all, and I was singing along to my iPhone! Now, usually I would realize that if I can sing I'm not running fast enough, but i decided that pacing was my goal because I wanted to run far. And I realized that I was ELATED!! I skipped during my run. Not once, but often. I waved at other runners (who I, for the first time didn't totally hate), sang whenever I felt the urge, and threw my hands in the air when I reached my turn around point (even though it was at the bottom of an ENORMOUS hill that I was going to have to run right back up).

I'm running a marathon this year. I'm totally doing it.